Self-Worth: Humble Yourself
For years, I would have told you confidently and sincerely that my worth came from Him. I believed it, or at least I thought I did.
But then life would happen. A career door would close, a project wouldn’t go as planned, a personal relationship would shift and I’d feel gutted. I’d question my abilities, my place, and even my identity. If I said my worth was anchored in Christ, why did these things shake me so deeply?
That tension exposed something in me: I hadn’t truly explored what it means to find my identity in Jesus. I had claimed it with my mouth, but my heart still ran to other places for validation. It wasn’t until I slowed down and started examining those reactions that I began to see the quiet patterns of my heart. I had to ask: What am I tying my worth to, day by day? Can you humble yourself? It turns out, I was still deeply connected to the world’s definitions of success, career milestones, academic achievements, how much I was "producing" or how others perceived me. It felt natural, even harmless.
But under the surface, those things were subtly shaping how I saw myself. When they were thriving, I felt good. When they weren’t, I felt less than. And that’s when I realized: I hadn’t just been disappointed, I had been disoriented. Because if something external could unravel my peace, it had become more than important. It had become an idol.
We don’t bow to golden calves anymore, but that doesn’t mean idolatry is gone.
It’s just become more socially acceptable and harder to detect. Idols today come dressed as good things: careers, financial goals, relationships, talents, influence. Things that can be gifts from God become dangerous when we ask them to do what only He can; define us, fulfill us, and give us meaning. For me, the wake-up call came when I faced career setbacks. A door I had hoped for didn’t open, and I was crushed, not just disappointed, but shaken at my core. Why? Because I had made that opportunity a measure of my worth. I expected it to affirm that I was enough. And when it didn’t, I felt like I wasn’t.
On the flip side, when I did succeed, when something like a book deal came through or I received recognition, I noticed how quickly I wanted to sit in that place. It felt good, validating. But even in that high, there was a quiet danger. If I let that success define me, what would happen when it faded? The same thing: my sense of self would crumble again.
The truth is this: success and failure are equally dangerous places to locate your worth.
Both can draw you away from Jesus if you’re not careful. But Jesus offers us something entirely different, a constant identity rooted in His unchanging love. It’s not based on performance, approval, or achievement. It’s given freely, and it cannot be taken away. So what does it look like to actually live from that place? It means celebrating the wins without clinging to them. It means mourning the losses without being defined by them. It means waking up each day and choosing to say, “Jesus, remind me who I am in You, not what the world says about me.” It means checking our hearts regularly and asking: Have I let this thing become more important than God? Am I asking it to tell me something only He can say?
A healthy relationship with earthly things allows us to appreciate them without assigning them ultimate value. When things go well, I can praise God for His kindness. When things fall apart, I can still trust Him, knowing my identity wasn’t in those things anyway. That’s freedom. But let me be honest: this is not a one-time realization. It’s not a spiritual milestone you check off. It’s a daily returning. Daily surrender. Daily reminders. We are constantly being shaped by culture, by expectations, by social media, even by our own thoughts. And so we have to intentionally re-anchor ourselves in what is true.
WHEN WISDOM ENCOUNTERS SCRIPTURE
So what happens when human wisdom meets the truth of Scripture?
Psychological research, including a well-known study by Crocker, Luhtanen, Cooper, and Bouvrette (2003), shows that when people base their self-worth on external things like achievements, appearance, or others’ approval, what’s known as contingent self-esteem, it leads to emotional highs and lows, anxiety, and even depression. Their confidence rises and falls with their circumstances. But those who ground their identity in internal values like character, personal growth, or faith show greater emotional stability and resilience. The takeaway is clear: our worth can’t rest on things that shift and fade. It has to be anchored in something secure.
This is exactly where Scripture speaks so powerfully. While modern psychology can reveal important truths, it often stops just short of offering lasting peace. It identifies the symptoms but not the full cure. It points us toward purpose and identity but cannot fully satisfy the deep longing of our hearts. That’s where God steps in. Where human insight ends, divine truth begins. God offers us something psychology alone never can: unshakable hope and unchanging value.
The Bible doesn’t tell us to find our worth, it tells us we already have it.
Not because of what we’ve done, but because of who made us. Our worth is rooted in the unchanging love of Christ, who gave Himself for us long before we ever accomplished a thing. That kind of worth doesn’t waver with success or failure. It stands firm in every season.
As Psalm 139:13–14 says,
“For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.”
This verse shows that your worth began before you were even born. You were handcrafted by God with intention and care.
Jeremiah 17:5–8 says,
“Cursed is the one who trusts in man… But blessed is the one who trusts in the Lord, whose confidence is in him.”
Trusting in human strength or circumstances will always fail us. But when our confidence and by extension, our worth is rooted in God, we become like a tree planted by water: stable, nourished, and fruitful, regardless of drought or hardship.
Throughout Scripture, we see a consistent theme: when people tie their worth to outward things, status, achievement, possessions, or the approval of others; they end up anxious, disappointed, or far from God.
Martha, overwhelmed by her productivity, misses the peace of simply being with Jesus, while the rich young ruler walks away sorrowful because he can't let go of his wealth. Paul, once proud of his status, counts it all as loss compared to knowing Christ. Even in Jeremiah and Galatians, we’re warned not to place our confidence in people or performance but in God alone. These stories reveal that true worth isn’t found in what we do or have, but in who we belong to, Jesus, who formed us, knows us, and calls us His own.
Everything else will crack under the pressure. But His love is unshakable. It doesn’t depend on your performance. It doesn’t waver with your emotions. It doesn’t disappear when life disappoints you. Jesus offers a worth that is secure, stable, and sustaining. So today, if you find yourself weary, trying to earn love, trying to hold it all together, trying to be “enough”, let me gently remind you: You already are, in Him. Not because of what you’ve done, but because of what He’s done. Your value isn’t something you achieve. It’s something you receive.
