Failure: Life is Hard, But Failure Isn’t the End.
Life is hard; I grew up believing that if I failed at something, it simply wasn’t meant for me; that I just wasn’t good at it, that it wasn’t “my thing.”
So, I leaned into what came easily and avoided anything that felt too hard. But that turned out to be a lie. I eventually realized I wasn’t just avoiding difficulty; I was avoiding growth. I was missing out on the fullness of life, on opportunities that could have become something greater. I was letting fear dictate my direction. And I was boxing God in.
I had convinced myself that if something was truly from God, the path would be smooth. So when things got hard, I assumed I must be on the wrong path. I equated ease with divine confirmation and struggle with a warning sign. But now I see how flawed that thinking was; how many meaningful things I may have walked away from simply because they required difficulty.
But wow, how far from the truth that turned out to be. Embracing difficulty is essential for growth.
It’s how we discover new opportunities, develop our gifts, and build meaningful connections. Avoiding challenges doesn’t protect us, it limits us. It keeps us from stepping into the fullness of life. Growth can be painful, yes, but it’s also necessary. Because growth is the only way we truly move forward.
I think, first, we often let fear drive us. And failure can hurt, so it’s easy to fear. But why does it hurt so much? Honestly, because we tend to tie our identity to our success. When who we are is defined by what we do or how well we perform, our sense of self becomes fragile, just like our achievements. So naturally, we avoid anything that threatens that identity. But what if I told you it doesn’t have to be that way? What if your identity didn’t have to be tied to your failure or success at all? There is another way.
Second, I think we sometimes fall into the trap of believing that because God is good, only things that feel good to us must be from Him. But our idea of what’s a “good” path is often shaped by our limited, human perspective. We can’t see the bigger story God is writing through such a narrow lens.
So, if we can’t see the full picture, how can we rightly determine what is truly a good path for us? We don’t know where these easy and hard paths will lead, and if God promises to weave all things together for His good, then we can’t let the difficulty or ease of a path determine which one is right. In a broken world like ours, our stories will inevitably include both the easy and the hard. Yet God promises to work all of it together for His good.
So if we can’t rely on ease or comfort as indicators of what makes a path “good,” then there must be another way to discern if a path is right for us. And there is. But before we get to that, can God’s truth be found woven into everyday life? Lets look at humanities patterns and lay scripture over it. So, what does the research tell us? What patterns does human experience reveal?
We often think of failure as something to avoid, but research shows it’s actually one of the best ways to grow.
Studies have found that when people take the time to reflect on their failures, like in the work by Eskreis-Winkler and Fishbach (2016), they tend to improve more over time. Our brains are wired for this too: Moser and colleagues (2011) discovered that people who believe they can grow from mistakes actually show stronger brain responses after messing up, which helps them learn faster. In classrooms, Hattie and Timperley (2007) showed that feedback after failure boosts achievement more than almost anything else. And as Mueller and Dweck (1998) found, praising someone’s effort, not just their success, makes them more likely to keep going after a setback.
Failure doesn’t feel good in the moment, but when we lean into it, reflect, and try again, it can be the very thing that leads to long-term success. Failure doesn’t set you back, it moves you forward. It literally rewires your brain and brings you back stronger.
The best way to approach is when we view failure as a stepping stone, we’re more likely to persist, adapt, and find new paths forward. But when we treat it as a dead end, we risk giving up or avoiding growth and movement all together. The truth is, we’ve been seeing failure the wrong way. It’s not a stop sign; it’s a signal that we’re still moving, still growing.
WHEN WISDOM ENCOUNTERS SCRIPTURE
But the power in failure may be signaling that there’s something more. When we look at patterns in research and how people respond to failure, we see what almost feels like a call to step into it, to walk toward it. Because when I do walk toward it, I grow from it and I benefit from it. It’s almost beckoning us. I believe there’s something even deeper than what’s on the surface of humanities patterns, a layer more powerful that goodness we don’t want to miss. A layer that’s only possible when you believe in someone greater than yourself.
In the Bible, Paul’s experience reveals that God’s power shines brightest when we acknowledge our limitations. Moses doubted his ability, Peter denied Jesus, and Gideon felt unqualified, yet each was chosen and empowered by God to do incredible things. Their stories remind us that failure and fear are not the final word; they can be the very beginning of growth, courage, and deeper dependence on God. Through our struggles, God’s strength becomes visible and transformative.
Romans 8:28 says,
"And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose."
2 Corinthians 12:9 says,
"But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me."
God reveals Himself in humanity, but there are two transformative truths you may miss if you never look to Scripture. One is the beckoning call to come to Him in our failures and weaknesses. Yes, we can grow from failure, learn from it, and even discover that it can lead to success. But even more powerful is this: God can shine through us in our weakest moments and do things we never thought possible; things far beyond what we could ever do on our own.
I don’t know if there’s anything more satisfying than feeling unequipped for something and watching God equip you through hard work and obedience. Moses, Gideon, and Jeremiah all felt unqualified when God called them; Moses lacked confidence, Gideon saw himself as weak, and Jeremiah thought he was too young. Yet in each case, God promised to be with them and to give them what they needed.
Don’t fall into the trap of thinking that a “good” path will always feel easy.
We can’t see the bigger story God is writing through such a narrow lens. We don’t know where the easy or hard paths will lead and if God promises to weave all things together for His good, then we can’t let the difficulty or ease of a path determine whether it’s the right one. What truly matters is whether we’re pursuing what we feel called to do, no matter the obstacles. Are we seeking God and praying for guidance in the direction we should take? The real question isn’t about ease or difficulty—it’s this: Am I following what God is calling or asking me to do, despite whether it’s easy of hard?
This doesn’t mean we all need to chase after something huge or flashy. Everything God does is significant; even seemingly small things, like learning to play the violin well, becoming a better runner, or showing up faithfully in everyday roles. When it’s done with Him and for Him, it matters.
The second thing that is a transformative truth is the freedom in the face of failure. Remember this: Jesus has already overcome the final outcome. We know His victory and if we are in Him, we share in that victory. In God’s kingdom, failure doesn’t have the last word, because He has already won.
As humans, we tend to define ourselves by our successes and failures, which can let fear drive us and cause us to ride emotional highs and lows that can crush us in an instant. But when we believe in Jesus, the One who has already overcome, success and failure no longer define us. Instead, they become places of growth, opportunities to draw closer to Christ, and blessings to rest in.
